Talking to God…It May Not BE What You Expect!
It’s about HIM and His purpose. The byproduct is you GET to do HIS will and be blessed by HIS prescense and you’ll really get his purpose and want to worship Him for His Amazing Grace and infinite, Holy Love…which IS Who He is…well…the part of Him we get to know. He is A lot more than this, but it’s the part we get to experience…IF we are willing to reach out to Him.
If you have already felt him, you can see I’m TRYING to use what little vocabulary I’m striving for to describe what I feel…because there really aren’t many worldly words for what the Spirit IS. Those who see people speaking in the Spirit… or as some call ‘in tongues’ are speaking those words…words that can translate the Spirits language. Many times, I watch those who speak it and so desperately pray in my heart to, one, understand them and, secondly RECEIVE the baptism so I CAN SPEAK it too.
There are a lot of things I have been understanding…I’m hoping to share them over time…It was why I started this blog and already since my first post, the Lord has shared a lot with me. For one…my ‘next post’ was scratched. He said, “the idea of complaining about someone else…it’s been done! Everyone is doing it and they have bumper stickers on their car shouting it out loud. Why not put something out their praising your LORD?”
*Sigh* It was then that I sorta cringed and realized that HEARING God isn’t what I thought it was and yet, it is EVERYTHING I need and more. My Pastor spoke this past Sunday about Jesus and the Samaritan Woman talking at Jacob’s Well as He offers HER the Living Water…and WELL I have been using that picture lately for a REASON.
I’ve felt like her for a long time now. I realize Jesus has been offering me Living Water…and once and a while it has gotten through, but I’ve been looking at it wrong. Not that it took Sunday to understand that…I got it before…it just took today to ACCEPT it. I realized God was pointing OUT He is POINTING OUT to me…YES I’m TALKING TO YOU and everyone else who is ignoring ME. You want to talk to ME? I AM talking to you….YOU are ignoring ME.
r>
It’s a bit of a kick in the behind really. It’s like that voice that I thought was the DEVIL…is actually God…rather JESUS talking…and the voice I THOUGHT was Jesus was the DEVIL. Okay, now just SLOW down…Let me explain what I mean.
I realized that (and it actually happened TODAY even though it’s been slowly creepin’ up on me all year long) that sweet voice that’s been telling me things like: “Look, Lord…I’m TRYING to do better. It’s not as easy as I thought it was. I know Jesus was WHO He was…and I’m grateful you DID what you did. THANK GOD you did it…cause I’m struggling with that smoking. I want it BAD…” *Wipe forehead, huff, thinking about that smoke and feeling tired* “God, I know I’m not worthy, but, please just give me what I need to get started doing what YOU want me to do FOR YOU! I LOVE YOU…you KNOW I do…and I FEEL that passion in my heart burning me UP…but my body is failing ME. WHAT DO I DO?? I’m not WORTH you I know it.”
“Hey, The Lord understands that, you keep fighting and don’t beat yourself up. Don’t sweat that smoke. Your human. Your body is a hard thing to deal with, you know Jesus is with you and He forgives. He Understands what you go through and He fought that battle FOR you and WON it for you. That battle IS WON. You love Jesus and You BELIEVE! Being a Believer means each day you get better and each day is new. Don’t sweat it because HE DID IT FOR YOU in the garden. You’ll be stronger tomorrow than you were today.”
What does THAT make you think of? Hmm…yeah me too. But I kept on with it. I said… “But that other one makes me think of the BAD me!
That OTHER (ole MEAN voice I called it answered REAL fast)
“True, but it is only pointing out aspects that the Lord wants you to let Him work on and Admit you need His grace and help with. It is the OTHER one that is beating you up over it and keeping you wallowing over it. Understand that. I am here to lift you UP.”
o….0 “Lord?”
YEAH. Now…maybe not everyone can understand and even SEE what just happened in that conversation…but I sure did. Sometimes that FIRST voice might SOUND like a voice from God helping you out…but if you think God is letting you get away with something and petting your weakness….don’t buy it. That is the devil keeping you RIGHT where he wants YOU. DOWN and feeling weak…and WANTING that strength that God through JESUS WILL give YOU if you get up and with the authority JESUS WILL GIVE YOU through the HOLY SPIRIT. Amen. GET IT and Smack that Smack talkin devil where it hurts. His pride cause he didn’t think you were smart enough to accept what God has for you. : )
God LOVES YOU and WILL through Jesus Bless you and FIGHT FOR YOU. YOU may have some struggles, but you don’t do it ALONE. God is RIGHT THERE with you and there IS justice. Remember, this is a war and the Justice is based on what GOD knows is right…not what a human brain thinks is right. We are still children. I had many times today when…at ODD times when God chose to drop in to ‘talk’. You know I realized today how funny that was. All this time I had been ‘wanting’ to talk to Him…and I understand that when HE does…it’s WHEN HE chooses and it’s on HIS schedule and YOU need to be ready to receive it and able to listen no matter WHAT is going on. ; ) Harder than you can imagine. I’ll tell you.
Well…maybe not for some…but I’m actually working on it. Most of this..the things I’m writing for you started coming to me early this morning. I kept telling Him…I’ll write this down. I KNOW I need to WRITE some of this down…but I’m doing THIS RIGHT NOW. I can’t get to a note book RIGHT NOW.
The thought would come, “Why not … keep… a note book … with… you?”
*sigh* He IS always right. Jesus always has good answers I’ve realized…and they are usually very simple. Over the last year…I’ve realized you CAN tell when it IS Jesus. It’s usually telling you the simple solution to a problem you thought impossible or He is poking you about something you really know you shouldn’t do. (Guys, you KNOW that voice!) Let me ELABORATE on that cause don’t NONE of you act like you all don’t deal with it : P
I have a music device and I also have a problem with uploading music and SHARING it. I also used to download it just like EVERYONE ELSE. Now, I know there are people out there who do NOT do that…and then there are people out there who “Do Not Download Illegally”. Whichever ‘you’ are, that’s your business. I have been both and I don’t mind to admit it, I’m one that Jesus CONVICTED over it at ONE TIME and OUCH…is all I can say. I guess depending on how you feel, some could say,
“Well…a good dose of court and a fine would really teach you. See what reality feels like if you GET CAUGHT.” I mean I’m posting this up online. I’m taking that chance, right? I used to download.
But, those who know the Lord, knows he convicts just the same. The Lord IS my Judge after all. HE is the HIGHEST Judge…and when I say HE convicts…I don’t just mean He convicted My MORALS…YES…He GOT MY SOUL and my SPIRIT…He literally got my MUSIC I had.
That music device I had which was REALLY expensive…well…it was about $270, which had already been replaced once due to me dropping and my six year old dropping it. I had a good…oooooh 120 PLUS songs on it. NOW…I will admit, a good bit came from CD’s I owned and had collected. (And yes, here comes my COVER story. ; P A thief will have one you know.) This was the ‘story’ I tried to tell that ‘voice’ that kept trying to poke on my shoulder when I first downloaded and then the second time and so on.
A lot of my CD’s had gotten scratched, and I had even went out and REPURCHASED them, so I DID support my artists. After all…I am a writer. I understand what it is to create and have someone RIP you off! (That’s when THAT voice would say: )
“And…you’re still going to take their song? Why can’t you go buy their CD? Or their single? They worked hard for that.”
I’d always grunt and sigh and feel that twinge, ya’ll know what I mean. YOU DO! But, then that FEELING, that ‘petting of the ole soul’ would come on in. Gotta WATCH that! “I want to, but I don’t have any money right now. I don’t know when I’ll get enough right now. I’m TRYIN Lord. “I really ‘want’ the song and I need it so I can go get my walking done. It ‘helps’ me to walk better! When I get that bill paid off and my daughters outfit ‘she needs’ I’ll go buy the WHOLE album.”
Now, who realizes what YOU AND that ole devil have just done and said to the Lord? (Rather what you TRIED to say to God? (Guess what...GOD IS NOOOOT hearing That Either. NONE OF IT.; P ) Seriously, guys, ya’ll wonder why GOD isn’t communicating WITH you?? I’ve figured THIS out. He isn’t listening to YOUR junk about YOU and your WANTS and WHINES and how YOU want to TWIST HIM around to get what YOU want…especially if it’s DIRTY. If you know anything about God and Jesus Christ You’ll realize… He is NOT about hurting, lying, cheating, whining, and hooding ANYONE, at ANYTIME, and turning HIS Holy back to let you get one BY Him. You do not get ANYTHING by God. Ask Adam and Eve….Ask CAIN especially. Wait…maybe you cannot ask Him. Not sure about THAT ONE! That may be above my experience and pay grade.
*sigh*Oh…Lord
?
Instead of relating about it…do THIS (actually the thought that came to mind spills out a bit like the sections below and THAT is how the “Lord speaks to you in sometimes.” : P Yes, Lord, Your Will Be done, Praise YOU Lord.” AND THAT is how YOU answer HIM, Children. You do it and PRAISE The Father. If you learn anything from reading a young woman that Jesus is helping to Learn to Teach the Gospel, LEARN THAT. GOD HEARS HIS WORD, do YOU hear HIS VOICE in IT and RESPOND TO and with IT?
Genesis 3:8
(8) Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. (9) But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”
My Bible, which IS NIV, because at this point my brain, even though I was a college prep student in English is too sorry to handle the King James version. What? Honestly, I have yet to get me a new Bible that I can use to Study with and I want one that helps someone at my entry level and feeds my HUNGER. I want to know Jesus and GOD AT EVERY SECOND at ANY MOMENT…NOW. YES. God has HIS TIME…you have to be willing to do HIS will when HE calls. Get your BUTT UP. Yeah I know I bark …. But hey, I know how I push my sleep button and stay in MY bed too when I’m sorry. I work on it too…but there’s a time when you say GET UP. It’s when you DO HEAR GOD call. It’s sorta hard to say NO to HIM.
Easy to say no to the Dr. appointment you can reschedule…EVEN though it’s important to GOD and your family you take care of things with you…it isn’t DIRECTLY related to God…at least in your mind. That’s too ruled by the World at some point. But when you have GOD knocking at your Soul, Mind, AND Spirit…you really have NO choice but GET UP.
Bottom line…I think it’s AT THAT POINT…you REALIZE that’s how you KNOW you ARE hearing FROM GOD. : ) Cause I’d like to be cozy in my bed right now…TRULY. It doesn’t mean I’m an EVIL person cause I’d RATHER be in Bed. God knows that! That’s the point I think God might have been making with the exert from Genesis. He even KNEW (apparently ahead of time…..That I was gonna say: )
“There is nothing INSIDE of you that you can Hide from God because he SEES everything. That’s why His question to ADAM and EVE was STRICTLY rhetorical.”
Wow….now THAT is a bit of Living Water to me. ;) Thanks Jesus. Testify to ME. Now can I go to bed?
Hmm mmm … mm AHHH MAN, nope. He’s still got MORE. It sorta reminds me of Sunday. I actually LIKE being there are Sunday, but my Pastor will joke about how some people wanna go on. I KNOW there’s people like that and I know we got people who need to eat seriously cause of diabetes and THAT is no joke either. We actually have an awesome family. If I could share those people with YOU guys online I would.
One thing that gets me is the Pastor jokes about how he is ‘different’ and he said last Sunday how he ‘dirt road, I was sitting there thinking…what’s wrong with THAT? O…o That was how my DADDY was and I ADORED my father…there shoulda been MORE people LIKE my FATHER.
Every PERSON in my churches family is very special and I was sitting there kinda looking around as he kept talking about that and I thought… “Yeah it’s small, right now, but there’s a reason: Because people like this, sadly are rare right now and luckily I’m sitting SMACK in the middle of ‘em and their PASTOR is up there talking. I got NORWHERE to ELSE to GO. Keep teaching. THANK YOU GOD.”
The guy actually, when I first went to talk to him reminded me A LOT of my dad and it put me OFF a lot because I was still mourning my dad. Those, if any of my friends ACTUALLY end up reading my posts, who know me well, you know how close my Daddy and I were. This Pastor was the man that finally gave me the answer to what I ‘understood’ all my life and my daddy KNEW, but I had NO name for. I was living a life about Jesus, I just didn’t have a name for it until I found out who Jesus WAS.
I’ve actually been driving to Sunday morning service or Wednesday night class and the thought will hit me as I’m really looking forward to seeing everyone…. “Did God set me up to BE with These people…because they all sorta remind me of people in my dad’s family and the Pastor IS sorta like my dad.” I mean I dunno if ANY of THEM would wanna be RELATED to ME cause I’m a HUGE goofball, but that’s the truth! The more I realize how powerful God IS and how much HE will do to follow His will and purpose…and there’s no length to what God won’t do for people…I realize
Yeah, God will give you a new family and He will lead you down a path, even if you get off on the wrong road God CAN set you on one that can lead you to a whole NEW life that can give you a life that HE has for you that is not like the beautiful golden life you had.
Now, I don’t wanna get all depressing and bluey, but I realized (what word was that? Bluey? YES I made that up, ask a person from the Yellow Banks area…IT’S A WORD from ‘our’ area ;)P ) So, as I was SAYING, I was thinking about the fact, God GAVE me a beautiful family and childhood. I DID have the perfect family. My dad, mom, grandparents…home. Even though we were dirt poor, and I DO mean it…I could sit here and go ON and ON…I’ll hit that later actually…I DO want to go to bed. *slaps flesh* T..T Sorry Lord.
See I got work to do on Me TOO!, BUT, I realized, IT was perfect and over time, I lost it, and I made some HUGE mistakes and IF not for JESUS…I’d SURELY be in HELL. I was NOT the ‘nice’ girl I thought I was and it wasn’t because I did horrible things. I did downright NASTY things. I’ll talk about THAT later. And yes…I’ll post them ALL up. No, they were sleeping around. Nope, didn’t do that stuff. Not that I’m defending myself. What I did was worse. Really? OH YEAH. I didn’t do DRUGS in high school well…not until I got to be twenty six. That’s when I GOT hooked on pain killers.
That’s a WHOLE ‘nother POST! Don’t JUDGE that addict and as a friend I my church family said, don’t judge that man in a suit either. : ) (Bless you John. You learn lessons from everyone, Right Lord?) I’ll certainly post about that because as I sat and LISTENED to that topic and my friends comment I thought about a post I made when the Lord spoke to me and THEN later spoke again. I have found, listening to HIM is a lot of responsibility and it IS no WONDER HE waits until YOU GROW UP…to talk.
I’m not necessarily talkin ‘age’ either. I’ve always been a person of Spirit…which is…what my POINT is drawing to. YES I’m DRAEING TO THE END of THIS POST!!!! AMEN? HEHE…. I have always understood things in the aspect of spirit and I finally understood why I always FELT different and ‘dirt road’ and I felt compassion for my Pastor and I instantly realized WHY I felt like He reminded me of My Father.
He has aspects and that fire of my father, that ‘spirit’ just like my dad, and sure, even that music talent…but each of us in the body have our OWN personality. My father was a genius…and YES I’m BRAGGING on my daddy : P Ask the U.S. Government…not that I put much FAITH in them for any back up and I do feel guilty to throw off on my United States.
I want THEM to be what they CAN be and USED to BE when GOD was WITH US….but I understand that the World has to go the way the Word said it would…and I recognize the Babylon IN It. T..T I know some people may cringe, but when I feel something in me I have to say it and if you wanna get mad, well, get mad. I actually feel like I’m wrong to apologize and I’m gonna apologize to that feeling IN me. NOT YOU. If you wanna not read my posts…YOU apparently HAVE that freedom. We all do.
Today, all day, I had the freedom to do a lot of things…like initially…I was talking about downloading music. Yeah I got off on that…I KNOW I did. When God talks…you go with HIS Word…not your junk. Not that He sees YOU as junk, HE LOVES YOU, but honoring HIM is a way to let Him love you and if you can understand that, then you can HAVE a relationship with YOUR KING. He IS a King, Jesus IS a King and YOU belong to a Kingdom. Yahweh’s. : )
As for my Music Player, what happened to it? Eh, One day I had it…and put it down in my room. I KNOW I DID! Next thing…I come to find it and go walking…and it was GONE. T…T I looked for it for three weeks and finally gave up. I was sitting on my bed sulking…and praying about how ‘sucky’ YES I said it…because I know I was thinking at the time I was praying to the Lord about how HARD it was going to be to find allllll those songs and most of my CDs were lost and I could NOT afford a new player right now. I had LOST my PLAYER! I was OUT of my MUSIC….I was SO UPSET! I was in tears! Heartbroken. I mean I really was devastated guys…music IS everything to me…I used it for EVERYTHING really. To walk, to connect…to relieve stress…
Then came a voice… (And NO it wasn’t God’s…it was that ole hateful voice… feelin’ sorry for yaself)
“Poor me, you’ll never get your radio back…all my FAVORITE songs GONE! How could HE do this to ME? I used THOSE songs to PRAISE HIM and HE took them FROM ME? Did HE not SEE ME singing them for HIM?”
I CRINGED YES. But then I looked up. “God? I’m sorry…but…really…could you NOT help me out a little?” I expected to hear that little sweet voice say something inside reassuring me I’d get a new player in no time and I’d be able to find all my new songs soon, don’t worry…but I kid you NOT…this was the thought that HIT me…and…I called it the DEVIL…but now I realize THIS was JESUS:
“I Will Help You As Much As I will Help The One Who Made That Music You Love and Lost. No More, No Less. I love you. ”
Ouch. Yet, He DOES love us. I’ll admit at that point…like a kid to the parent and still at that stage of my life, I stuck that lip out…and got ‘offended’. Now…I realize…it’s THAT same GRACE that is getting my SORRY, Thieving, Commandment breaking, BUTT into the Kingdom so I can be LIKE HIM and live FOREVER WITH HIM. At least for now, I CAN HEAR HIM.
It may be late, it may be in the middle of cooking grilled cheese sandwiches and you run to grab a pencil cause…when I say, WAIT Lord… He doesn’t wait FOR YOU….YOU move WITH Him. Yes! I actually SAID that today when God was ‘sharing’ with me. C’mon guys, I’m young, I’m learning to ‘listen’. I understand He’s using me, I’m just learning to move with Him.
NOW…if I can learn to communicate it in a way that is efficient. I understand I may not get it out as efficiently as possible. I AM SPEAKING…But….you know…I guess it’s why I tell my Pastor, I start talking to people at my park and if they are interested, I direct them to YOU! : ) I just stoke them, then send them to YOU! Yet, I know the Lord sees the passion in my heart. He KNOWS my heart is on FIRE. It’s funny. I’ve sat so many times in my seat and listened to my Pastor talking about people with ‘that passion’ for God.
I feel like Jesus and Me are doing like:
<..<
>..>
^_~ Then Jesus does that and says, Yeah, YOU, but not yet. I’m working on it. I SEE YOU. YES I SEE YOU and YES I hear you and YES I AM TALKING TO YOU. Pay ATTENTION!
Honestly, Jesus Does NOT have to ask me too much. I’m AFTER HIM! I’m AFTER YOU JESUS! I admit It IS hard hearing you. I am finding that out, but, grudgingly I am listening and willing. Whew. AND YES! I get to GO TO BED! THANK YOU! PRAISE YOU JESUS! (And not just cause I get to go to bed! …Cause he put my favorite song on the XM Satellite!!!! Thanks JESUS!! <..< Is that a joke over the download topic? I was looking for THAT one earlier. <.< That’s how I got on that topic. Now guys, THAT is WHAT GOD DOES…and THAT IS HOW HE TALKS.
o.0 Cool.
COOL!
“Faith that is true, that is real, so so strong to carry me THROUGH.”
My Closing Message Today Is Love Jesus. Go Do Some Reading In Psalms. Find Out More About King David. He’s Worth Reading. His Strength Was In Praising THE LORD.
No comments:
Post a Comment